8th to 9th Grade Transition
The transition from 8th to 9th grade is another critical inflection point for parents, kids and the technology they use. Below is one local family's story of how they are navigating the move to high school without a smartphone (Yes - it is possible!). Their story highlights the value of involving your teen in these conversations early and often, and being flexible as communication needs change. As always, there is no right way to handle these complex decisions, but we hope that sharing stories from other families helps to inform your own family's choices.
Transition to (phoneless) high school
We have two children at Saxe Middle School, an 8th grader and a 6th grader. As a family, we have always been aware of potential overuse / mis-use of technology, and have set an example ourselves by minimizing screen time, avoiding social media, and leaving all devices downstairs overnight.
We have a family computer with a password that the kids don’t know, and 2 iPads (ditto), which they can only use during flights or long car trips. They’ve never had a gaming console or smart watches of any kind, and we have set the expectation that they won’t get smart phones until age 17.
We recently started experimenting with allowing our 8th grader more access to an iPad for texting. So far, this has mainly been with family and a few friends, and we’re still not sure whether this will be a permanent addition to our tech toolkit.
Our son is not clamoring for a phone, but as he gets ready to enter high school in the fall, he needs (and wants) his own computer. We have already discussed having a contract with him to lay out our shared understanding of how and when he will use it. Aside from school work, we can envision him using it more broadly for communication - with classmates, friends and family outside of school, and with coaches via the sportsYou app. Because a computer is not as mobile as a phone, it’s not as ideal for extensive communication, but that’s a positive in our view.
We certainly don’t have all the answers, and one of our main questions is whether – assuming we make it that far – to get him a phone when he starts driving at 16. We’ve heard the arguments and can understand the desire for instant communication with a teenage driver, but also wonder whether this is really necessary (after all, none of us grew up with cell phones in cars). In the meantime, we’re shopping for the right computer for our son and will be eager to see how this new phase in our family's tech journey unfolds!
HELPFUL ONLINE RESOURCE
New Canaan Cares, in partnership with The Rowan Center, recently hosted a talk at the New Canaan Library about kids safety online. We wanted to highlight their website, therowancenter.org/kidsafehq/ as a resource for parents who are looking for more information about how to manage the safety of their children online. Filled with research and resources to answer your most pressing questions, it is something every parent should be aware of.
BOOK HIGHLIGHT
Published in 2023, Stolen Focus by Johann Hari was ahead of the curve in identifying the deterioration of our ability to focus on singular tasks. Hari went on a personal journey to restore his own ability to pay attention. Through that journey, he found twelve potential causes for the decline in concentration and offers suggestions on how reclaim our attention spans.
Click HERE to learn more about Stolen Focus.
ARTICLES WORTH YOUR TIME
Touch Grass Challenge - Every week in June, The New York Times will send you an evidence-based challenge to encourage you to step away from your screens and feel more alive. They will encourage you to go outdoors, to spend time with people you love and to tap into your creativity. This is not meant to be a hard core-detox... rather a reset to help you reclaim time, energy and attention from your device. Click HERE to read more and sign up on the New York Times.
Fewer Kids have Phones - Now What? School phone bans, social media age restrictions, and platform regulations are only part of what we need in order to restore the play-based childhood. We need to pair those gains with an equally ambitious effort to renew the social ecosystem that once made kids’ off-screen lives robust and intensely local. Click HERE to read more on Jonathan Haidt's substack, After Babel, about idea to revive youth community groups in the US and build back something of what was lost with the incursion of technology in childhood.
59 Tips to use your Phone (a little) Less - New York Magazine has compiled a long list of ways to reduce the time you spend on your phone. Many suggestions will look familiar to regular readers of NC Unplugged's emails, but some are new and very clever! There are also select product recommendations to support this important change in habits. Click HERE to read the full list of tips (subscription may be required)
Help New Canaan Unplug
If you are interested in creating a healthier relationship with technology for our children, please check out our survey HERE to let us know how you can help.
New Canaan Unplugged is a parent-run group completely independent from the New Canaan Public School System and the Town of New Canaan.
